"Watch Your Mouth" - Preached on March 18, 2012 at GGC

Watch Your Mouth

(Part 3 of 4-part series on Proverbs)

Introduction:

Have you ever found yourself having said something that you now regret? I know I have. There are words that I have said during moments of anger that have hurt other people. There have been moments when I said unintelligible things because I did not think things through and it has made me look like a fool. There have even been moments when I said things that I should not have said, or ask questions I shouldn't be asking at all. I could have easily avoided those embarrassing moments if only I had watched what I said, if only I had carefully thought through what I was going to say.

This morning, as we continue to study the Book of Proverbs, we will understand how our words can either bring life or cause hurt to people. If you still remember when we had the 40 Days of Love campaign last year, one of our messages was about learning to love with our words. While there may be some similarities between today's message and last year's message, we all need to be reminded again, I need to be reminded again, that my words must help and not hurt people. My words must build people up and not tear them to pieces.

The average man speaks around 20,000 words per day while the average woman about 30,000 words per day. The potential to either help or hurt someone is huge with so many words spoken by us. Now, what are the words that can hurt people? This morning, we will begin by looking at the hurting words we use against others, as described in Proverbs. Because of time limitation, we will only look at four kinds of hurting words, but I believe there are others recorded that you can check out on your own.

WORDS THAT HURT

A. Gossip

A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret.

Proverbs 11:13

What is gossip? Gossip is revealing one's secrets, sharing something spoken to us in confidence without their permission. It is also defined as spreading a rumor without confirming the facts. Just from the definitions, we can already tell what's the problem with gossiping. From the Proverb we just read we also know what's the problem. The problem when you gossip is that you are betraying one's trust in you by revealing to others what the person has explicitly told you to keep as a secret. The reason why a person would tell you their secret is because they trust that you will keep your promise not to tell others. Why do people gossip anyway? Its because it is a sure way of getting the attention of others. People just love to hear what's going on in the lives of others. Unfortunately, gossip is very destructive. According to Proverbs 16:28b, “gossip separates close friends”. When you gossip about your friend, and he finds out about it, your friendship is basically over. When you spread rumors about what someone supposedly said about another person, and it reaches the subject person, you will have caused a rift between two people. Gossip is hurtful. It destroys friendship. It can destroy the life of a person who may not be emotionally strong to handle it. Therefore, stop gossiping and spreading rumors about others.

B. Deception

We can also hurt people by being deceitful or by lying. In Proverbs 26:28 we read, “A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin.” In Solomon's list of seven things God hates in Proverbs 6:16 – 19, lying is included. Now, why do we lie? We lie in order to deceive people. We lie in order to save ourselves from being punished. We sometimes even lie in order to protect someone's feelings as well as not to be the subject of a person's displeasure. I am sure all of us have done it before. I know I have and I am not proud of it.

Lying hurts because you deprive people of what they ought to know. Lying hurts because, instead of helping people see their real situation, you flatter them just to make them feel good. Lying hurts because you're saying to the other person, you're not important to me; I am more important than you. We think that by lying we save our skins but in reality, withholding the truth causes more trouble. You see, a lie will eventually be exposed. You can't hide it forever.

Lying, just like gossiping, can destroy relationships. If you have the propensity to tell a lie or even half-truths, you have to stop. It is better to tell the truth. People will admire you when you tell the truth rather than having to hide the truth just to make them happy.

C. Quarrelsome Words or Words Spoken in Anger

When we get angry, what usually follow are words that are quarrelsome or confrontational. Sometimes, we even bring up the past and use it as ammunition against those who've hurt us. In Proverbs 17:14 we read, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.” Imagine a massive dam that holds billions of gallons of water. All it takes is one small crack for water to start seeping through and then it won't take long before the entire dam collapses, allowing all the water the dam was supposed to hold to flow like a destructive tsunami. Anger that is not kept in check, leads to quarrelsome words which can destroy relationships and can cause emotional damage to people. Therefore, avoid getting into unnecessary quarrels as much as possible. Heed the Apostle Paul's command in Ephesians 4:26 where he tells us, “In your anger do not sin.”

D. Self-Centered Words

There are also moments when we use words in order to promote our agenda or to make ourselves look important. Simply put, the words that flow out of our mouths reflect self-centeredness. When we do this, we actually become fools in the eyes of God as well as in the eyes of discerning people.

In Proverbs 18:2 we read, “A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions.” A person who thinks highly only of himself and of his opinions is a fool because he sees only himself but he never values other people and their insights. By refusing to listen to other people, they do not gain wisdom and insight. As followers of Christ, we must learn to value others. One way by which we show love to one another is actually by learning to talk less about ourselves and instead, learning to listen to what others have to say and valuing what they say.

Gossip, deception, quarrelsome words or word spoken in anger, and self-centered words. All these must be avoided by us. To engage in such words are not only destructive, but they also reflect how foolish we really are.

What kind of words then should flow from our mouths? Let's look now at words that will help people. There are three kinds of helpful words we should use regularly.

Words That Help

A. Honest Words

An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips.

Proverbs 24:26

First of all, the words that flow from our mouths must be honest words. A follower of Jesus Christ must be characterized by honest speech. Honesty, though it may hurt at times, is actually good medicine. I remember as a kid suffering from asthma, I had to go to the doctor for shots every 8 weeks to control it. I hated going for injections at first because it was painful; but those asthma shots helped me immensely. Words spoken honestly are just like bitter medicine. It tastes bad but it is ultimately good for you. In the proverb we just read, an honest answer is compared to a kiss on the lips. You don't just kiss anyone on the lips unless you are intimate with that person, like husbands and wives. Well, honesty is actually something wonderful like a kiss because it strengthens intimacy between people, it reveals that we really are listening to people when they talk and we value our friendship with others so much we do not want to hide anything from them. The problem when we don't tell the truth is that we give people the wrong impression that they are OK, that nothing is wrong with them. Honesty is like a mirror that helps all of us to see what's wrong and what needs to change in us or in others. So, learn to be honest with one another.

B. Encouraging Words

Our words can be helpful to others when they are meant to encourage or cheer people up. In Proverbs 12:25 we read, “An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.” Have you ever experienced moments where you were feeling sad and depressed, then a friend comes along and cheers you up with rightly timed words? I have and I am sure many of us have, too. Sentences as simple as “You did a great job” or “thank you” can lift one's spirit. When you tell someone that you're praying for him (and really doing it), that is also encouraging. Telling people that you appreciate them for something they did or for who they are is also encouraging. Learn to speak encouraging words to others, but be sure to balance it with honesty.

C. Kind and Gentle Words

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.

Proverbs 16:24

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 15:1

Our words can be helpful to others if they are spoken with kindness and gentleness. In other words, do not be abrasive towards people; do not be confrontative. In Proverbs 16:24, pleasant words are compared to a honeycomb. The honeycomb is where the bees store their honey. What the proverb means is that when pleasant words flow from our mouths abundantly, it is sure to bring gladness of spirit to others which then results in wellness for a person. In Proverbs 15:1, when you answer an angry person with gentleness, you will help diffuse the anger and tension instead of elevating it further. So, speak gently and with pleasant words and see how people will react to you positively.

Master Your Mouth

We've learned about hurtful words as well as helpful words. We know that we are to avoid hurtful words and we must be liberal when using helpful words. The final thing we need to remember is that we must have mastery over our mouths. The Book of Proverbs list down three things we should do to master over our mouths.

A. Hold Your Tongue

The first advice to remember is that we must hold our tongue. In other words, prevent yourself from saying unnecessary words. In Proverbs 10:19 we read, “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Another Proverb to consider is Proverbs 21:23 – - “He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity.”

I remember this one incident many, many years ago when I was part of a joint choir that was going to sing in an evangelistic meeting. I was still very young, maybe not even 25 years old. I met a female friend from high school who I haven't seen for some time. After exchanging greetings, I made the biggest mistake of commenting on her weight! While it is true that she has added a few pounds, I realized then that I had somewhat offended her because weight is a sensitive issue for the ladies. If only I had just said Hello and ended there!

A good way of putting this point into practice is to think of this: “If I have nothing good to say to someone, then keep quiet!” It is better not to say much and leave a good impression rather than to say too much and hurt someone's feelings.

B. Think Before You Speak

The second advice to remember is always think carefully what you're going to say before you actually say it. In Proverbs 15:28 we read, “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” So often, our words can hurt people because we did not think through what we're going to say. Words that are spoken in haste are usually spoken without any thought behind them. Wise people will think through their answers before they say it, so as not to hurt others, because they know that once they speak out, they cannot retrieve the words back again. If they have spoken hurtful words, then the damage has been done.

Before you speak, ask yourself this question: “Will what I say help the person or will it hurt the person? Is there a better way of saying what I need to say?” It is usually better to delay giving a response if what comes out of it is well-thought of and helpful, rather than a quick response that hurts.

C. Learn to Listen Before Speaking

Finally, learn to listen first before speaking. In Proverbs 18:13 we read, “He who answers before listening – that is his folly and his shame.” Very often, we make the mistake of giving answers even before we get the whole picture or explanation. I am often guilty of this. It just goes to show that I am not really listening. At other times, while someone is talking to me, I am only partly listening to what the person is saying to me because I am already beginning to formulate my answer to the previous things that were talked about. The bad thing about answering so quickly without really listening well is that we will give wrong, impractical answers almost all the time. Learning to listen to others first before speaking is actually a way of showing genuine interest to the other person. It is a way of saying to them, I value you as a person. We will be of utmost help to them also when we learn to listen first because we will be able to see the whole picture and we will be able to formulate our answers more adequately, if it is an answer that they are seeking.

Conclusion:

Let's review what we've learned this morning from Proverbs regarding our mouths. First, we must avoid words that hurt, namely gossip, deception, quarrelsome words and self-centered words. Second, we must speak words that help, namely honest words, encouraging words, and kind and gentle words. Finally, we must master our mouths by learning to hold our tongues, by thinking first before we speak, and by listening to others first before we speak.

We've learned a lot about our speech in the Book of Proverbs; however, it isn't enough that we know a lot of information. What I've shared with you are things we should apply or things we should avoid when we talk. We all talk everyday. Let's be careful to put into action what we've learned today.

To end, I want you to watch this short video to let you know how important it is to watch what we say. 

 

It's Off To Work We Go - Preached at GGC, March 11, 2012

It's Off To Work We Go

Introduction:

In the 1970s, the brother and sister duo called “The Carpenters” sang a song entitled, “Rainy Days and Mondays”. While the song is actually a love song, I find one line quite descriptive of what we feel deep inside us when its raining or when its Monday. It is the line in the chorus that goes “rainy days and Mondays always get me down.” Why is it easy for us to relate to this line? It's because that's what we feel like in relation to either going to school or going to the office. During the rainy season, when rain is pouring down early in the morning, we don't feel like going to work because the weather is cool and we just want to lie in bed a bit longer. Besides, its so inconvenient to go to school or to the office when its raining because you're sure to get wet, especially if you're commuting. Who among you likes the feeling of wet socks throughout the day? Now, regarding Mondays, some people drag themselves to work on that day because its the start of a new working week, after a day or two of rest and fun. Its during the weekend that we get to sleep longer, probably play sports, go to the mall, or even go on an out-of-town trip. For some people, they probably wish that they could just do those things all day long and for every single day of the week. Thus, Monday, being the start of the work week, is also the lowest point of the week for them. It is the day that they don't have much energy. Some people have rightly surmised that when one doesn't enjoy studying or working, then Mondays and rainy days will definitely get such people feeling down and depressed.

There's another song, this time from a 1937 Walt Disney animated movie entitled, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” which features the seven dwarves singing a song entitled “Heigh Ho”. At the start of the song, the dwarves sang about digging in the mines the whole day through, and that they enjoy what they're doing, even though they have no idea why they're digging them from the mines in the first place. However, the attitude of the dwarves toward work is something to be admired, for they enjoyed what they were doing. In another scene, as the dwarves were beginning their workday at the mine, they were singing Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho, its off to work we go. They were happy about going to work.

We could say that these two songs depict the attitude of people towards work. Some enjoy working, others dread it. Some look forward to Mondays while others prefer that everyday be Saturday or Sunday. Today, we continue our study on the Book of Proverbs and we will look carefully at the subject of work. This is an important subject because all of us do work – if not in an office, then probably in a school environment as students, studying and doing homework. Thankfully, Proverbs has a lot of wonderful teaching regarding work and our attitude towards it. But before we look at what Proverbs has to say, let me just briefly share with you what theologians or Bible scholars call as the “theology of work”.

On the very first page of the Bible, we learn that God is a God who works. He created the heavens and the earth, and everything in them, in six days. On almost all occasion, immediately after he had finished creating something, God would comment that his work was good. When he created Adam, he put Adam to work. In Genesis 2:15, we find the Lord giving Adam the task of tending the garden or to be a gardener. The implication, according to some Bible commentators, is that God designed the garden of Eden in such a way that it will flourish when man is cultivating and tending it. Adam was also tasked to name all the animals (Genesis 2:19) that were brought before him by God. God allowed Adam to participate in making what was a perfect creation become even more beautiful. God had intended for work to be something that brought joy and pleasure for Adam. Unfortunately, when Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit and sinned against God, the ground was cursed, making it hard for Adam and Eve to work productively. Notice that it is not work itself that is cursed, but rather, the ground on which they would work on. What used to be a delight when they were still in the garden became drudgery because of the conditions that would surround work.

Although all of us don't work in farms, but we must admit that work is difficult even in an office environment. Being productive and profitable are difficult things to do. Yet, the fact remains that God has mandated work to be the primary means by which are enabled to survive physically. Unfortunately, we have wrongfully equated work with the curse, thus we want to avoid working as much as possible. The Book of Proverbs will actually straighten us out by helping us to see the wrong attitude we bring towards work and by pointing to us what right attitude we must have when we go to the office or the workplace.

Wrong Attitudes We Should Never Bring to Work

What are some of the wrong attitudes that we bring with us to work, according to the Book of Proverbs? I want to share with you three wrong attitudes we must never bring with us to work. There are probably more but I will limit myself to three, in the interest of time.

A. Laziness

Laziness is one of the most prevalent negative attitude in our society. It is so prevalent that here in the Philippines we have a folklore whose main character is named Juan Tamad. I confess that there are numerous moments when I feel lazy; that I would prefer to do something else other than be in the office. There are moments when I want to say something like, “I'll do it later” or “I'll do it someday”. So, why is laziness a wrong attitude that should never be brought to the workplace? Let's look at what Proverbs has to say about laziness. Because of the time, I will just point out three major reasons why laziness needs to be avoided.

(1) Laziness brings poverty and ruin

How long will you lie there, O sluggard? When will you arise from your sleep? A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest, and poverty will come upon you like a robber, and want like an armed man.

Proverbs 6:9 - 11

I went past the field of a sluggard, past the vineyard of someone who has no sense; thorns had come up everywhere, the ground was covered with weeds, and the stone wall was in ruins. I applied my heart to what I observed and learned a lesson from what I saw: A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest — and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.

Proverbs 24:30 – 34

When all you want to do in life is to rest and do nothing, before you know it, you will end up becoming poor. The logic here is simple. If you go out and work, you have income. If you have income, you can provide for your daily needs and save some money for emergency purposes. If you are lazy and you refuse to work, then there is no income. What you have will be spent until you have nothing. Laziness can make you poor.

(2) Laziness brings disgrace

He who gathers in summer is a prudent son, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who brings shame.

Proverbs 10:5

In an agricultural economy like that of Israel in Solomon's time, harvesting was usually done during summer. Every father would want for his son to help out in the farm by helping gather the harvest. But if his son chooses to sleep during the harvest time, this could cause the loss of the harvest and bring poverty to the whole family, if the father does not have enough workers to get the job done. If the family becomes poor as a result of the son's laziness, then he is the one to blame for bringing shame to the family, for making the father “lose face”. The laziness of the son will also give the people who see and know him a bad taste in their mouths as well as a negative impression towards the son.

3. Laziness is irritating to others

Like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes, so is the sluggard to those who send him.

Proverbs 10:26

If you have someone who is lazy who works with you or is your classmate, you know how irritating they can be. In Proverbs 10:26, the context is work. The employer sends the sluggard or the lazy person on an errand. The irritation comes because the lazy person makes no attempt to come back immediately or he does a very poor job because he has the mentality of “puede na 'to”. I am sure some students have experienced this when they have a lazy classmate who joins his or her group for a project or when writing a group thesis. They're the kind who actually don't do much to help but they'll take the credit if the project passes or if the thesis passes the scrutiny of the panel interviewers. If the project is a flop or the thesis is given a failing grade, the lazy people are the ones who'll blame you for the failure. Laziness is an irritating thing that one has to deal with in school and in the workplace.

B. All Talk But No Action

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.

Proverbs 14:23 [CLICK]

The second wrong attitude we must never bring to work is that of being “all talk but no action”. Have you ever met people who have lots of bright ideas but can't get anything done with it? It is because such people are mere talkers. They like to talk and talk about work but they don't get anything done. There is nothing wrong with expressing your ideas, but at the end of the day, you have to get something done. You have to put your ideas into motion. One thing I admire about entrepreneurs is that they know how to put their plans into action. They don't just share their ideas verbally, but they use their talk to get people to invest in their ideas and then they put in the hard work in order to make sales and bring in the profits. Contrast that with some people who talk a lot about their plans of becoming rich but do nothing to move toward that direction.

100. Excuse Makers

The third wrong attitude is somewhat related to laziness. It is the wrong attitude of always making excuses or always giving reasons why something should not be done. In Proverbs 22:13 we find this - -

The sluggard says, “There is a lion outside!” or, “I will be murdered in the streets!”

We probably have these kinds of people in the workplace. They are the kind who are unwilling to take risks in order to gain profit or to rise up the corporate ladder. They would say things like, “its impossible” or “I can't do it”, when clearly it is something that is possible and doable. We bring the same attitude to church. When some people are asked to pray, their excuse is, “I don't know how”, even though they've been Christians for more than ten years already. When you ask them to help in a ministry, they also say “I don't know how” or “let the pastor do it” as a convenient excuse from having to serve the Lord. We should never bring the wrong attitude of always making excuses to our work or to our studies. We must learn to take responsibility and do what can be done on our part.

Right Attitudes We Should Bring To Work

Having looked at the wrong attitudes of laziness, mere talk and no action, and excuse-making, let's now look at the right attitudes we should always bring to work. Again, because of time constraint, I will limit myself to three right attitudes for us to work with.

A. Realize That Work is God's Primary Way of Supplying Our Needs

Whoever works his land will have plenty of bread, but he who follows worthless pursuits lacks sense.

Proverbs 12:11 (ESV)

We hear that some among you are idle. They are not busy; they are busybodies. Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and earn the bread they eat.

2 Thessalonians 3:11 – 12

God has ordained that work is the primary means by which He supplies us with our everyday need. Now, you may argue that God did allow manna to fall from heaven in order to feed the Israelites in the wilderness and he did send quails to them for meat, but we forget that they still had to do the work of gathering the manna and the quails. God is a gracious good who supplies all our needs but don't expect that his provision will always be miraculous. Adam and Eve, before they were kicked out of the Garden of Eden, had to work for their food. If they wanted something to eat, they had to reach out and take hold of a fruit from a tree.

I am the kind of person who does not believe in the idea of welfare. Now, I am not talking about our welfare fund which is used to help people in need; rather, I am talking about people who choose unemployment knowing that they're going to receive welfare checks from the government. We see this in the States; people who have lost their jobs stop looking for employment because the welfare system is paying them. That is downright wrong and against God's plan that work is His primary means of supplying our needs. While we are able to, we should work.

B. Grow Your Skills

Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men.

Proverbs 22:29

The second thing we should bring to our work is the attitude of growth. In Proverbs 22:29, the man who is skillful with his work will eventually rise in the ranks. It must be our aim to improve our skills at work. Now, understand that the goal is not about getting a promotion. A promotion for being proficient with your skills is the result. Your goal should be because you want to give your very best when you work. Thus, it is important to grow your skills. When you grow your skills, you become better at work. When you become better at work, your employer will notice you and will give you greater opportunities to grow further in the workplace.

A TV show I like watching is the TLC show “Cake Boss” which features a baker named Buddy Valastro. What I enjoy about the show is that Buddy and his team are challenged each week to make beautiful cakes, and they rise to the occasion by coming up with beautiful cakes. It is no wonder high profile people have Buddy make their cakes such as when Haagen-Daaz celebrated its 50^th anniversary. He also made a cake in the shape of a car for a Baker's Convention. If Buddy never grew his skills when he started as a baker, then he would never be able to bring the bakery business to where it is now. He would never be popular with couples who want a perfect wedding cake, or with organizations who want a spectacular cake for an important occasion.

100. Be Diligent

Finally, be diligent when you work. In Proverbs 10:4 we read, “Lazy hands make a man poor, but diligent hands bring wealth. ”. What is diligence? Diligence simply means we must be industrious or hardworking. It means we must put concentrated effort to what we are doing. We must give of our very best when we work or study. When we are focused and we work hard, we will prosper. When a student studies hard and prepares well for his exams, he will most likely ace the exams or at least pass it. When an employee is industrious at all times and not just when the boss is around, he will be able to do much and he will prosper greatly. Furthermore, a diligent person is many times more likely to be promoted.

Many of the successful entrepreneurs in the Philippines became wealthy because they worked hard. Those who hold positions of power in big corporations came to that post because they worked hard in their younger years. Diligence in both work and study will bring success. Be diligent in whatever you do.

Conclusion:

When you go to the workplace or to school, what attitude do you bring with you?  Are those attitudes negative or are they positive? Are we lazy, always talking but not doing anything, and always making excuses, or are we diligent, always aiming for improvement with the mindset that work is God's primary way of providing for our needs? I hope that it is the latter mindset that you have.

To conclude, let me remind you of what Paul says regarding work. It's found in Colossians 3:23 - -

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

Remember that what you do, whether in the office working or in the classroom studying, is all about bringing glory to God. Let everything we do be marked by excellence because this brings pleasure to God.